I remember when I used to write

Lord, I miss writing. And to think that for years, I used to come to the internet and do so multiple times a week. Now weeks go by with not a word. I miss it.

My life is just not in a place that allows for writing anything much that’s creative or takes more than a few moments. I’ve thought about this so much lately, how there was a time when it would give me anxiety to go too many days without writing. Writing was the thing that gave me release and I gave it priority. Not to mention, it gave me a community that I loved being a part of. I know there will come a time again when I’ll have the time and freedom to sit down and craft my life stories again, as well as spend time with writing friends. It just isn’t that time. For now, I’ll have to be content to find a rare moment like this here and there.

Actually, I shouldn’t even be sitting here now. I’m supposed to be tackling things around the house in preparation for a house full of company this coming Thursday. I volunteered to have the hubby’s family here for Thanksgiving. When I mentioned to him that I was contemplating this, Jack asked, “Are you insane?” They’re a BIG group. They won’t all be able to join us, thank god! But we’re still looking at a good 25 to 30 guests. I’m not too worried. I have a new room on the back of my house with no furniture in it. It’s going to be our Thanksgiving dining room! And this gives me something different and fun to look forward to for a change.

But as I was saying, there’s work to do around this house. The combination of a months-long construction project, and my caregiver responsibilities to my mom means that we have not kept up on a lot of our usual “stuff.” I should be tackling all that stuff right now. But while glancing at my phone this morning, I noticed a WordPress notification that it’s my one year anniversary on this blog. (They should also give me a reward – or penalty – for being the person who has abandoned blogs and started fresh in a new place so many times. I think this one is my fifth blog site since 2006. And I was hoping to make this my permanent home. I probably will. I just might not be “home” quite often for a while here until something gives a bit in my life.)

I had a milestone birthday last week. People kept asking me how it felt to be “the big five oh!” I told everyone, simply, that I was happy to be here. The unspoken words in my head were, “I lost my best friend a few months ago at forty-seven years old. I am grateful to reach fifty.”

Life has been busy. The hours in the days fly by. The days and the weeks and the months fly by. And I find myself wondering how the end of this year is already approaching when it seems we just turned the corner on 2016. How is it that my dad has been gone for almost a year already? My father-in-law for two?

The busyness and the speed of time lately means I appreciate like never before, the little things. Things like having an evening free to run errands or get a little grocery shopping done. Or bowling. Bowling used to just be … well, bowling. Now it’s my guarantee of having some sort of social life. Without it, I would not.

Still, we’ve managed to squeeze in some good stuff. The kids were all here last weekend to celebrate my big birthday. They and Jack had tried to plan a surprise party for me, but I got wind of it. (Jack’s terrible with secrets.) I told them, in all sincerity, I really did not want a big to-do. I just wanted time with them. They graciously honored my request and it was WONDERFUL! I loved waking up and having the usually quiet house soon fill up with their presence. We had big breakfasts together – eating things like Belgian waffles and bacon. And we sat together in the living room and just talked and laughed. I just love the adults my kids have become. They’re good people.

As part of my birthday gift, Chesney arranged for us to have a family photo taken, rather spontaneously. There was no time to coordinate clothing, and I realized I just didn’t care if we looked picture-perfect. We had a grand time doing it and the photos turned out GREAT! I’m going to treasure these for a long time to come.

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… This felt good … I may not be back again soon. But I will be back.

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8 thoughts on “I remember when I used to write

  1. Hey, we’ll take what we can get ! 🙂 So nice to “hear” from you.
    Good luck with your Thanksgiving and hosting all those people. But what a great way to break in the new extension!
    Great photo of the family. Happy Birthday and Happy blog anniversary! Was it that long ago that I first met you, and your kids really were just kids?!
    Fifty is the new thirty! (right?)

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I’ve missed you but completely understand – my writing has fallen way off this year, too, and I don’t want to post just to post.

    You are so beautiful and don’t look a day over 40 – gorgeous, happy family. I hope your Mom is doing ok, been thinking about her and you.

    Happy Thanksgiving!! xo MJ

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  3. I for one miss your writing BUT will wait patiently for its return on a more frequent basis as I understand the phase of life you are in now. AND, I totally agree that one’s adult children can be a gift that is even greater than when they were your young children.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You are a beautiful lady – inside and out! And don’t worry, there WILL come a time when things slow down enough that you’ll wonder how to fill all your free time. Until then, I know you’ll be patient and enjoy what life is presenting to you at the moment. I hope that, when you do have a moment to look back on your big Thanksgiving to-do, it will truly be a moment you can be thankful for, no matter what comes after.

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  5. Gorgeous family. So glad you had them there for your bday. Welcome to the 50-something club. When I first “met” you, I thought you were 15 years younger than me. Turns out, you’re only a few years younger. I still don’t believe it. You look great! Happy Belated Birthday.

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  6. So good to hear from you! I think many of us have slowed down quite a bit, myself included. But I still enjoy it and don’t want to lose touch with my blog friends. And besides, it’s a great release from some pretty stressful days.
    Sounds like you’re breaking your new addition in just right! I would imagine you’re a great host. Hopefully you’ll be off a day or two ahead of time to prepare?
    And your family pic turned out so well! What a great family you have. You’re a lucky girl, as I’m sure you’re well aware. And I agree with the others, you make 50 look good! I almost can’t wait to get there. Almost.

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  7. ….I love writing too. And started writing to penpals all over the planet since i was 10. We used snail-mail and i usually receive a reply within 40 days.
    yes, the waiting is killing me, but i remembered to be very happy when i receive mail from my overseas friend.
    and the age of the internet arrived…. i am ashamed to say i lost every pen friend except the one in Arizona. we are now occupied with the internet and writing to say hello now is not important anymore.
    i got lazy…. tv killed the radio star. and the internet butchered meaningful letters.
    now i am upset….

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  8. I’m Lifeunderacarolinamoon’s husband. I read the opening lines on the 19 Nov post and I immediately felt to say I’m much the same way. I love to write, but life has be so busy and Libby and I do stuff I didn’t used to do, like take in concerts and travel to places or visit relatives. I’m retiring the end of this month, so maybe I’ll have time to change this and begin to write more once again. At one time I had three blogs going.

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